Everyone recognizes the increasing complexities of the culture and social structure in which we live today. In a flood of demands, parents feel embattled and frustrated. There are so many pressures that tend to weaken the family as the primary social structure for meeting the emotional needs of children.

Indeed, the world is such a busy place that many of us get caught up in the sheer busy-ness of it. Each day we rush around at great speeds trying to accomplish all the things that we feel we need to accomplish just to survive. At the end of the day, weary and tense, it is not easy to focus our attention on listening to our children.

Granted, our lives are full of technological devices which help us do everything with the greatest of ease, yet what is needed most is to bring order to the whole, to determine which goals are important, and to find realistic answers to the question "How can I raise my children properly?"

The essence of being a parent is to love your child, to be kind, compassionate, helpful and nurturing. Can there be anything more important in the world than our relationships with our children? Most of us desire harmony in our lives. But it seems as if circumstances are always intruding to make that impossible. Truly, the list of things that we are capable of being upset about is endless.

How can we feel peaceful inside no matter what is happening in the outside world?
The problems of the world - and they are chronicled daily in the headlines of violence and despair - can make any peace of mind disappear. Without peace of mind, there is no peace in facing the daily upsets involving a missed telephone message, a car that won't start, a bill that is too high, a problem with a colleague, or a child that won't settle down.

The reality is, the problems of the world essentially are the problems of individuals. If individuals can change, the course of the world can change. Peaceful parenting for a peaceful world is a choice that every parent can make.

You are free to choose either to accept or reject the values and methods of society.
Is the priority to do what other people are doing, to conform to one's social circle? As long as others are doing it, must it be OK? Is it necessary to clamor for bigger, better and more?

A thoughtful examination of a family's realities can weigh whether or not the acquisition of a certain possession will be worth what is being given up in order to get it. Is it better to be kind or to be rich? Money and material possessions do not bring inner peace.

Are you available to make a major change in pursuit of peace? People become willing to change when they hurt sufficiently. They have beaten their heads against the same wall for so long that they decide they have had enough.

Often the catalyst that makes people want to change is the sudden discovery that they can. There is an awareness about new possibilities, which leads to further inquiry, a growing desire to transform, and a readiness to take action.

Admittedly, whenever we are faced with major changes in our lives, many strong emotions come up. For some of us, these emotions include a lot of fear, the concern that we will no longer be in control in areas of our lives that once seemed familiar and secure.

Yet for those others willing to let go of the fear, the changes bring much excitement, creativity and optimism.

You can change your relationship with your children by committing to peaceful communication. In fact, if your child is not behaving in a loving manner, this only means that your child is fearful and not feeling safe. Once you recognize that your child's "misbehavior", or "attacking" you, is really a call for help, then instead of defending yourself or attacking back, you can respond with love, no longer perpetuating the pattern of attack and defend. As such, you can identify conversations with no possibilities - that is, conversations that do not lead to a peaceful future. Communications that are attacking and defensive keep us stuck in the vicious cycles of competition and confrontation.

Alleviating conflict in your family will satisfy your personal needs for inner peace, bringing the possibilities of compassion, love and kindness into your life and into the world.

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